elefseus:

i love this dumb turtledove like you have an entire backyard where you could find stationary shade but no you decide to chill out in the tiny spot of shade cast by the birdfeeder which moves so quickly that you have to get up every ten minutes why did you make this decision why do you make this decision every day

(via hannibb)

timid:

do you ever get that horrible feeling in your stomach because you can’t imagine anyone ever falling in love with you and wanting to spend the rest of their life with you

(via hannibb)

everydaylouie:

woo! i just finished a game grumps animated - for today’s episode! as soon as i saw today’s super mario 3d world ep i knew i had to do this, so i threw away all other obligations and worked for like 9 straight hours to make this! i hope you enjoy it :D

(via corgiblue)

barackfuckingobama:

xinjay:

itsjustafangirlthing:

tundrakatiebean:

spooknessinsalvation:

thisbookofshadows:

barackfuckingobama:

so i bought this ring that has a little hinge and it opens up to a tiny secret box hidden under the gem and my mom told me that women used to put poison in it and then SLIP POISON INTO PEOPLES DRINKS and i was like NUH UH THIS CANT BE REAL and i just googled it and guys this is like a real thing

people are psycho

I have a few of those. I think they’re really neat!

classiest way to poison someone hands down

That’s how it all goes down in Hamlet, poison ring.

I’ve always, always wanted one of these because I have pure peppermint liquid that can ruin a drink with one drop and just kargfksernjskrn I want one.

wait why does everyone want one of these

what are all of you people planning

i regret making this post because i have been getting the creepiest reblogs in the universe seriously tumblr u scary

(via kingsleyyy)

beyondthebooty:

I just remembered that one time in high school we were in the middle of a lecture on the holocaust and this one girl asked if Jews still existed and we all just kind of stopped and the teacher had to leave the room for 20 minutes before he could continue.

laughawayeternity:

The other night my friends and I went to our dorm’s toga party, stole an entire box of pizza and ate the whole thing in our room while we watched beyonce’s vma performance.